


don't sleep, repeat

by spideywhiteys



Series: 365 Days of Naruto AUs [60]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Gen, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Just a quick lil thing, coffee shop au??, hiashi's bad parenting, hinata's bad study habits, hinata's childhood abuse, honestly not as bad as it sounds, honestly what the hell is the redemption he gets in boruto, more like neglect but also emotional abuse is just as relevant
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-01
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-14 08:22:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 965
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29789133
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideywhiteys/pseuds/spideywhiteys
Summary: Hinata doesn’t feel like a coward anymore. She doesn’t feel useless, or like an ant under her father’s boot. But there are habits she holds that are hard to unlearn.
Relationships: Hyuuga Hinata & Utakata
Series: 365 Days of Naruto AUs [60]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2086938
Kudos: 11





	don't sleep, repeat

**Author's Note:**

> Day 60: Coffee Shop AU / Hinata + Utakata

Hinata was not raised in a soft household. Her mother died shortly after the birth of Hanabi, and her father never quite recovered. Sometimes, when it’s late and she’s on the very verge of sleep, her mind open for the thoughts she doesn’t like to consider, Hinata wonders if he was ever a kind man to begin with.

Living under his roof was like living in a prison. She wandered the halls on her toes, terrified to draw attention, terrified to sit in the same room as him. He always sucked the warmth out of everything, leaving her feeling hollow and useless. With age, he’s mellowed out quite a bit, like ice melting to reveal a smidge of grass underneath. That didn’t change the fact that her childhood had been ruined.

It didn’t change the fact that though she may forgive him, she lives with the effects of his emotional abuse and neglect every day. Hinata is stronger now, having dug her way out with her own two hands. She is more confident, less shy, though she will always be rather soft-spoken in a normal setting. 

Hinata doesn’t feel like a coward anymore. She doesn’t feel useless, or like an ant under her father’s boot. But there are habits she holds that are hard to unlearn.

Like studying.

She’s worn herself into the ground since she started schooling, desperate to get the best grades to prove herself to her father. Fevers, exhaustion, sickness — you name it, she had it. And that terrible habit of pushing herself until she bled from her nose has followed her here, to college. Though she is stronger and her father is less frigid, though she does not live under his roof but instead on campus, she is still under his thumb because he is paying for her schooling. He’s still watching over her shoulder with hawk eyes, waiting for her to slip up so he can sigh in disappointment. 

So here she is, at the 24 hour café down the street from campus. Her roommate, Karin, wasn’t nearly as obsessive with her studies (not to say she didn't study at all, or that she was bad at school) and slept at pretty normal times. Unlike Hinata, who suffered from insomnia due to the stress hanging over her head. So as not to bother Karin, Hinata usually found herself here. 

For hours. Sometimes even until the sun started rising, carving deeper bags under her lilac eyes. At this point, she wasn’t even embarrassed when whichever barista was working shook her awake on the nights she passed out. They know her by name now, a familiarity between them that’s a little more than just customer-service acquaintance. It edges on friendship for a few — like Tenten and Shino. 

Her favorite nights, however, are when Naruto and Utakata work. They have a synergy together, their personalities balancing each other out. Naruto is bright, a summer sun and fresh oranges. Utakata is cooler, early spring and pear trees. 

She is also hopelessly in love with Naruto, and for all the strength she’s managed to conjure, she still can’t seem to bring herself to confess. It’s a bit different than just standing up for yourself, at least in her opinion. Being vulnerable in such a way is terrifying, especially since she’s spent her whole life trying to hide the bits of herself that weren’t perfect in the eyes of another.

It’s about 2am right now, a warm spring night with a cloudless sky. Utakata brings her another drink, a hot, decaf tea that smells like raspberries. He refuses to bring her anything caffeinated when she stays far into the early hours. In the back room, she hears the sound of water spraying and Naruto humming as he does the dishes.

Her laptop is before her, paper notes stacked to the side. She likes the speed of typing, but sometimes handwriting her notes helps it sink in better. The repetition is how she gets better. As long as she doesn’t give up.

“You should take a break.”

Hinata looks up, blinking tired eyes at Utakata. She’s been staring at her laptop screen for some time now, not even doing any work. Her eyes feel strained. Achy. Every blink almost feels like sandpaper. She needs sleep, she knows. But she also has a test tomorrow and too much anxiety about failing.

“Oh, I’m okay!” She tries to say. “This is nothing.”

Utakata sighs, and he always looks a bit serious, like he has trouble finding the words he wants to use. But he is kind, if awkward, and she does like that about him. “You look terrible, Hinata. Like you got punched in both eyes. What are you even studying for right now?”

She laughs a little, just as awkward as he is. “Oh, well, I have a Calculus test tomorrow—”

“Tomorrow?” He interrupts, “You mean today? Because it’s 2am, Hinata. You realize sleep is pretty necessary for the brain, right?”

Hinata runs her anxious fingers across the expanse of her tea cup, soothed by the warmth felt through the ceramic. “...Yes, I know...But I just—”

“Hinata. You’re smart.” Utakata shuts her laptop with a resounding click. “I doubt you need to study yourself into an early grave like you have been. Go back home — or to your dorm. Whatever. Get some sleep. Actually eat breakfast in the morning.”

She laughs for real this time, because it’s not often that people look after her like this. It’s always just been her, on her own, figuring things out and not knowing what’s right or wrong. She tries, she really does, but sometimes being taken care of is….nice.

“Thank you. You’re very nice, Utakata.”

He grumbles a bit, turning away. “Yeah, yeah, get out of my store already.”


End file.
